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Thursday, June 10, 2010
Don't Watch the Clock; Do what it does. Keep Going.
Philippians 3:13-14
13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I once heard a priest describe his ministry in the church as a car on a freeway. If you are old enough to drive then this analogy is quite simple. When you get on a freeway, you quickly find yourself riding along other cars. Some pass you up and some stay behind you or some ride along the side of you for 2 miles, 7 miles, or longer. Eventually, you reach your exit, merge off the freeway and keep driving.
There are times that I sit in prayer and think of all the people who have wandered away from me. I remember all of the people that I have wandered away from. It’s when I reflect on these moments that this simple analogy becomes real in my life. It is true, there are people who have ridden along my side for quite some time. Some stay a year, some a week, some long enough to read this post. The reality is that friends come and friends go, but true friends stay to watch you grow. I sit back and wonder, will there ever be a time when we might reconnect? Not just for a ‘blast from the past,’ but a real reconnection, a rejoining, a resumption of the friendship routine as if the split had never happened. Probably not, but I pray and hope that it might happen again.
Then there are the ones who are in it for the long haul, the people who are in the car with you; Jesus (the driver), family and true friends. Yes, sounds like a Mexican car in Phoenix but that’s beside the point lol. The ones who stick by you and not only help you figure out your Cross but help you carry the Cross as well.
The Simon’s of Cyrene (Fifth Station) of your life. The friends, who are not afraid to help a scorned person, carry his humiliation in front of a jeering crowd. The friends who does not ignore when he hears a whisper “It’s a crucifixion”. The friend who is not afraid to take on four soldiers, one criminal, four spears and one cross. The friend who is not afraid to saddle the inside corner of the cross on his shoulders. He knows the base of the cross will eventually drag through the dirt, the top will teeter in the air, but the friend knows that I am trying the best I can to steady the cross. The friend knows that I will stumble beneath the weight of the Cross but I will push myself back on to my feet before I fall again.
As I depart to Lawrence, Massachusetts to embark in a new and exciting chapter in my life, I am thankful and grateful for my family and friends who have helped me get to where I’m at. I do not know what God will bring next in my life but I do know that I will not stop wanting more of God’s love for NO ONE; My motivation? Jesus Christ! There have been many people throughout my life who have indirectly or directly try to stop me, but I recall St. Paul’s words, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” in the words of Fool Gonzales “and the Goal is Heaven!” I will keep moving forward, forever forward, towards an endless Heaven and a Loving God.
13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I once heard a priest describe his ministry in the church as a car on a freeway. If you are old enough to drive then this analogy is quite simple. When you get on a freeway, you quickly find yourself riding along other cars. Some pass you up and some stay behind you or some ride along the side of you for 2 miles, 7 miles, or longer. Eventually, you reach your exit, merge off the freeway and keep driving.
There are times that I sit in prayer and think of all the people who have wandered away from me. I remember all of the people that I have wandered away from. It’s when I reflect on these moments that this simple analogy becomes real in my life. It is true, there are people who have ridden along my side for quite some time. Some stay a year, some a week, some long enough to read this post. The reality is that friends come and friends go, but true friends stay to watch you grow. I sit back and wonder, will there ever be a time when we might reconnect? Not just for a ‘blast from the past,’ but a real reconnection, a rejoining, a resumption of the friendship routine as if the split had never happened. Probably not, but I pray and hope that it might happen again.
Then there are the ones who are in it for the long haul, the people who are in the car with you; Jesus (the driver), family and true friends. Yes, sounds like a Mexican car in Phoenix but that’s beside the point lol. The ones who stick by you and not only help you figure out your Cross but help you carry the Cross as well.
The Simon’s of Cyrene (Fifth Station) of your life. The friends, who are not afraid to help a scorned person, carry his humiliation in front of a jeering crowd. The friends who does not ignore when he hears a whisper “It’s a crucifixion”. The friend who is not afraid to take on four soldiers, one criminal, four spears and one cross. The friend who is not afraid to saddle the inside corner of the cross on his shoulders. He knows the base of the cross will eventually drag through the dirt, the top will teeter in the air, but the friend knows that I am trying the best I can to steady the cross. The friend knows that I will stumble beneath the weight of the Cross but I will push myself back on to my feet before I fall again.
As I depart to Lawrence, Massachusetts to embark in a new and exciting chapter in my life, I am thankful and grateful for my family and friends who have helped me get to where I’m at. I do not know what God will bring next in my life but I do know that I will not stop wanting more of God’s love for NO ONE; My motivation? Jesus Christ! There have been many people throughout my life who have indirectly or directly try to stop me, but I recall St. Paul’s words, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” in the words of Fool Gonzales “and the Goal is Heaven!” I will keep moving forward, forever forward, towards an endless Heaven and a Loving God.
Friday, June 4, 2010
The Facebook Era
It seems everyone is on Facebook these days: your co-workers, your best friend from third grade, your mom, your parish priest. According to the statistics page on Facebook.com there are currently more than 400 million active users, 50% of our active users log on to Facebook in any given day and people spend over 500 billion minutes per month on Facebook. Those numbers are staggering. I am a former member of this social network for reasons that I will explain later. I guess what attracted me to Facebook was that it was really fun to reconnect with people from the past, quickly and without ever having to see them-in person haha. I use to check my Facebook account twice a day and I enjoyed reading the updates of friends. It was a great instrument for sharing photos and seeing the photos of my friends. Besides the corny pictures people take of themselves in the bathroom or the feeling of “accomplishment” from moving up from MySpace, there was something exciting about being connected to the virtual world. But most importantly it was a great way to evangelize and spread the message of Christ to all people by using modern technology in a new and engaging way.
Pope Benedict XVI told young Catholics in his message for the 2009 celebration of World Communications Day to “use their computers, Facebook accounts, blogs and Internet video posts to share with their peers the joy of faith in Christ.” There is no doubt that if used properly, Facebook could bring many people to the Hope and Love of Jesus Christ.
However, as I logged onto my friends account to see “what was going on” I was deeply concerned by how much time was actually being spent on Facebook. It almost looked as if Facebook was becoming like a “god”, a “virtual god”. I talked to my friend the other day, and I asked her to walk me through her day and she said, “I get up and check my Facebook, take a shower and get ready for work, and during my lunch break, I check my Facebook again. I then go to class and when I am bored, I log on to the internet with my phone and check my Facebook!” Before I even let her finish, I knew there was something wrong. I understand that this is an extreme version of FBA (Facebook addiction) but I am easily convinced with my own experiences of being around friends and peers that people are overly using Facebook.
So what is up with Facebook? Pope Benedict, in his wisdom, also addressed to the young Catholics, "If the desire for virtual connectedness becomes obsessive, it may in fact function to isolate individuals from real social interaction while also disrupting the patterns of rest, silence and reflection that are necessary for healthy human development”.
The keyword is silence! I know this was particularly true for me. I deactivated my account because it was getting in the way of me being able to be silent. The reality is that it is not easy to discern your vocation. Why is that? I strongly believe it requires fervent, personal prayer to our Lord and the ability to quiet down and listen to His voice. At least that was how I came to discover my vocation when, during my first year of college, I became serious about God’s will’s for me. It was by removing myself from distractions that I was able to listen to the Lord more clearly.
One of my most favorite quotes by Mother Theresa is,
“In silence He listens to us; in silence He speaks to our souls. In silence we are granted the privilege of listening to His voice.
Silence of our eyes.
Silence of our ears.
Silence of our mouths.
Silence of our minds.
...in the silence of the heart
God will speak.---Mother Teresa, from No Greater Love
This blog is not to judge or condemn anyone on FB because I think it is a wonderful tool to get the message of Christ out but I challenge for those who are on Facebook or any other social network, in my case-texting, to “match the minutes in prayer”-meaning if you are going to spend 30 min a day on Facebook, you better be willing to spend 30 min in prayer. If you are going to spend 4hrs day on Facebook you better be willing to spend 4hrs a day in prayer. I think we owe the Lord that much. Just imagine and let’s cut the minutes in half…what if 400 million people spent 250 billion minutes in PRAYER?
Pope Benedict XVI told young Catholics in his message for the 2009 celebration of World Communications Day to “use their computers, Facebook accounts, blogs and Internet video posts to share with their peers the joy of faith in Christ.” There is no doubt that if used properly, Facebook could bring many people to the Hope and Love of Jesus Christ.
However, as I logged onto my friends account to see “what was going on” I was deeply concerned by how much time was actually being spent on Facebook. It almost looked as if Facebook was becoming like a “god”, a “virtual god”. I talked to my friend the other day, and I asked her to walk me through her day and she said, “I get up and check my Facebook, take a shower and get ready for work, and during my lunch break, I check my Facebook again. I then go to class and when I am bored, I log on to the internet with my phone and check my Facebook!” Before I even let her finish, I knew there was something wrong. I understand that this is an extreme version of FBA (Facebook addiction) but I am easily convinced with my own experiences of being around friends and peers that people are overly using Facebook.
So what is up with Facebook? Pope Benedict, in his wisdom, also addressed to the young Catholics, "If the desire for virtual connectedness becomes obsessive, it may in fact function to isolate individuals from real social interaction while also disrupting the patterns of rest, silence and reflection that are necessary for healthy human development”.
The keyword is silence! I know this was particularly true for me. I deactivated my account because it was getting in the way of me being able to be silent. The reality is that it is not easy to discern your vocation. Why is that? I strongly believe it requires fervent, personal prayer to our Lord and the ability to quiet down and listen to His voice. At least that was how I came to discover my vocation when, during my first year of college, I became serious about God’s will’s for me. It was by removing myself from distractions that I was able to listen to the Lord more clearly.
One of my most favorite quotes by Mother Theresa is,
“In silence He listens to us; in silence He speaks to our souls. In silence we are granted the privilege of listening to His voice.
Silence of our eyes.
Silence of our ears.
Silence of our mouths.
Silence of our minds.
...in the silence of the heart
God will speak.---Mother Teresa, from No Greater Love
This blog is not to judge or condemn anyone on FB because I think it is a wonderful tool to get the message of Christ out but I challenge for those who are on Facebook or any other social network, in my case-texting, to “match the minutes in prayer”-meaning if you are going to spend 30 min a day on Facebook, you better be willing to spend 30 min in prayer. If you are going to spend 4hrs day on Facebook you better be willing to spend 4hrs a day in prayer. I think we owe the Lord that much. Just imagine and let’s cut the minutes in half…what if 400 million people spent 250 billion minutes in PRAYER?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sanctifying the Low Fade- The Rosary and the Barber Shop
As I sit down to get a haircut, I go through my normal routines: Make the sign of the cross and ask St. Martin de Porres aka the Patron of Barbers to pray for me, specifically, that the Barber may be granted with the hands of an angel to skillfully and carefully use the clippers and scissors to sculpt my hair and that I do not like either one of these two fools…
She asked me what I would like today.
And I said “A low fade please, 0 on the side and 3 on the top with a line-up”
For those of you who do not know what a low fade is it is a type of haircut that is cut to the scalp from the temple and dips low in the back. The hair is then quickly, but smoothly tapered (faded) into significant length on top. Sorry Fr. Stephen maybe in Staten Island it is called the buzz cut but in the hood’ we call it the downtown fade or the Brooklyn fade.
Before you think—“am I really reading a blog about Ryan getting a haircut but wait there is more to it!”
I know Miss Barber is not a Catholic because on a previous occasion she asked if I was a Catholic because of the enormous St. Benedict Cross I wore! It’s practically the same tree that carried Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot David Portugal. Miss Barber told me she is part of an Apostolic Christian Church. She wears a long blue jean skirt with no makeup and has lengthy hair—very modest. Well as the saying goes, “never trust females when they have clippers in their hands” did I just make that up? So I really didn’t care how modest or Christian you think you are, I am well versed in scripture and I know what happened to Samson’s hair when Delilah (female) cut it off (Judges, 16:19). I politely avoided challenging her faith for the fear of looking like the kids above. I decided to just pray for her.
Most of you know getting a haircut is not the most exciting thing, so today I decided that I would pray the rosary under the cape and offer the rosary up for her conversion ( you should try it). As she removes my cape she saw my hands tightly working the beads. Hehe.
As I get ready to pay she tells me the total is 14 dollars…
“Oops I meant to pull out my debit card instead I take out the Rosary and throw it on the desk as I scramble to take my debit card out of my wallet”
Since the very start of the early Church aka the Catholic Church, we see that the Apostles and their disciples brought the Good news of Jesus to the Greek and Roman world. The members of the Catholic Church primary goal are to win souls and to bring the proclamation of Christ to everyone in the world, as long as you do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). There are many ways on how we can evangelize; I tend to use the more hands on approach, the Rosary. I left her a small little tip for her wonderful job with the clippers and I reassured her that the rest is waiting for her in Heaven. As I thanked her for her wonderful job, I said bye, God Bless and I asked her to pray for me and she smiled at me and said as long as you do the same. My advice: Do not be afraid to evangelize wherever you go, yes, even in the Barber Shop. Do not be afraid to pray the rosary while you are waiting. For it is only with the help of Mary, St. Martin de Porres and Jesus Christ that you could truly sanctify your fade…
Not bad huh?
She asked me what I would like today.
And I said “A low fade please, 0 on the side and 3 on the top with a line-up”
For those of you who do not know what a low fade is it is a type of haircut that is cut to the scalp from the temple and dips low in the back. The hair is then quickly, but smoothly tapered (faded) into significant length on top. Sorry Fr. Stephen maybe in Staten Island it is called the buzz cut but in the hood’ we call it the downtown fade or the Brooklyn fade.
Before you think—“am I really reading a blog about Ryan getting a haircut but wait there is more to it!”
I know Miss Barber is not a Catholic because on a previous occasion she asked if I was a Catholic because of the enormous St. Benedict Cross I wore! It’s practically the same tree that carried Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot David Portugal. Miss Barber told me she is part of an Apostolic Christian Church. She wears a long blue jean skirt with no makeup and has lengthy hair—very modest. Well as the saying goes, “never trust females when they have clippers in their hands” did I just make that up? So I really didn’t care how modest or Christian you think you are, I am well versed in scripture and I know what happened to Samson’s hair when Delilah (female) cut it off (Judges, 16:19). I politely avoided challenging her faith for the fear of looking like the kids above. I decided to just pray for her.
Most of you know getting a haircut is not the most exciting thing, so today I decided that I would pray the rosary under the cape and offer the rosary up for her conversion ( you should try it). As she removes my cape she saw my hands tightly working the beads. Hehe.
As I get ready to pay she tells me the total is 14 dollars…
“Oops I meant to pull out my debit card instead I take out the Rosary and throw it on the desk as I scramble to take my debit card out of my wallet”
Since the very start of the early Church aka the Catholic Church, we see that the Apostles and their disciples brought the Good news of Jesus to the Greek and Roman world. The members of the Catholic Church primary goal are to win souls and to bring the proclamation of Christ to everyone in the world, as long as you do it with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). There are many ways on how we can evangelize; I tend to use the more hands on approach, the Rosary. I left her a small little tip for her wonderful job with the clippers and I reassured her that the rest is waiting for her in Heaven. As I thanked her for her wonderful job, I said bye, God Bless and I asked her to pray for me and she smiled at me and said as long as you do the same. My advice: Do not be afraid to evangelize wherever you go, yes, even in the Barber Shop. Do not be afraid to pray the rosary while you are waiting. For it is only with the help of Mary, St. Martin de Porres and Jesus Christ that you could truly sanctify your fade…
Not bad huh?
Monday, May 24, 2010
Pass the beats to the left hand side.
It's almost been a year and a half since I last made a beat, partially, because I left all of my equipment at home. Before I had any form of "official" equipment, I was making beats in the back of my 7th and 8th grade class rooms with pencils. Some of my friends said I had some real talent and I should make a beat for an upcoming rap artist. So I went for it. I bought my fist Korg 16 beat padKontrol and music software and the rest is history. My beats would appear on Mix Tapes and the radio (98.3) and would circuit around mainline producers. Unfortunately, because of the filth that Hip-Hop was saturated in and still is, I decided I no longer wanted to contribute to their false message.
Picture taken Lamar Langston http://www.lamarlangston.com/After receiving e-mails after e-mails of people asking me if I could please upload a beat, I decided to give a sample. This is rare for me to do because as the saying goes,"a magician never reveals his secret". Here is a video of me making a beat on the spot...
Its funny what inspired me to make a beat again, I was praying the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hrs) and I ran across Rev 14:3, " They were singing a new hymn before the throne of God"... I was like, "I dont think God would mind having a beat to go along with their worship ? haha.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
21st Birthday!
On May 3rd I celebrated my birthday by waking up to receive the best birthday gift ever; the Eucharist (Mass in the Log Chapel). Well actually I woke up at 7am in the morning to eat an omelet at South Dining Hall. But that is beside the point.
(Not actual picture of mass on my b day, but it works)
After 2 finals, I took a birthday nap. Followed the nap, Fr. Stephen aka the one who wrote the letter, Brendan, Braydn, Ben and I went to Polito’s Pizza.
And If you are wondering on whether or not I had a drink for my 21st Birthday... YES I DID! A water and a Sprite!
Followed by delicious pizza, we went to pay Fr. Kevin a visit...at Taco Bell?
If you are wondering why a priest was working at Taco Bell, its because he was raising money for scholarship at Holy Cross College...
Followed by Taco Bell, my birthday was topped off by another great present! Laking Kyle Gruber!!! The Men of Old College cornered Kyle Gruber and threw him in the Lake!!!
Kyle Gruber is the one in the middle with the white shirt!
Also, for those who have doubted that I have made the Old College Undergraduate Program a more urban place... Well...
Them sticking up OC gang signs for Old College.. Thanks to ME~ :)
One Swag at a time..
(Not actual picture of mass on my b day, but it works)After 2 finals, I took a birthday nap. Followed the nap, Fr. Stephen aka the one who wrote the letter, Brendan, Braydn, Ben and I went to Polito’s Pizza.
And If you are wondering on whether or not I had a drink for my 21st Birthday... YES I DID! A water and a Sprite!
Followed by delicious pizza, we went to pay Fr. Kevin a visit...at Taco Bell?
If you are wondering why a priest was working at Taco Bell, its because he was raising money for scholarship at Holy Cross College...
Followed by Taco Bell, my birthday was topped off by another great present! Laking Kyle Gruber!!! The Men of Old College cornered Kyle Gruber and threw him in the Lake!!!
Kyle Gruber is the one in the middle with the white shirt!
Also, for those who have doubted that I have made the Old College Undergraduate Program a more urban place... Well...
Them sticking up OC gang signs for Old College.. Thanks to ME~ :)
One Swag at a time..
Monday, April 19, 2010
A return to Galilee...
Several weeks ago, Fr. Stephen Koeth C.S.C. aka the one wrote the letter, gave a homily reflecting this passage: (Mt 28:8-10)
Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went away quickly from the tomb,
fearful yet overjoyed,
and ran to announce the news to his disciples.
And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them.
They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage.
Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid.
Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee,
and there they will see me.”
Fr. Stephen alluded that the angel tells Mary’s to report back to the Apostles, telling them to return to Galilee, to where they first met and followed the Lord and sure enough, Matthew recounts: “Jesus met them on their way.” For some reason, I could not wrap my mind around this picture of Galilee. So I asked Fr. Stephen what is this Galilee that you speak of? Is it a physical place? He said, “To return to Galilee is to return to where the disciples first met the Lord, first became His friends, first fell in love with Him. We need to return to that place often - not a physical or even emotional place, but an existential and spiritual place - where we remain in the love of the Lord.”
This weekend I had another wonderful and unique opportunity to travel. I went to Grand Rapids, Michigan with two of my Old College brothers; Dan Cruickshank and Karl Romkema. Dan and I were asked to give a talk about Identity: Discovering who God is, and who WE ARE in light of who God is. Our identity is defined as a son or daughter of Christ, but what exactly does it mean to be a child of Christ?
I begin my testimony by answering the question that every participant asks when I give a talk: “I know what you all are thinking….how did a handsome guy like myself discern a call to the Holy Priesthood” after giggles and blushing, I reassure the young ladies, “Back off… It’s for Jesus.” Lol… However, I explicitly warned the teens that I am there to be real and if they are not going to be real with me-leave!
During my talk I asked a question, “If you ever felt unloved, come up to the front?” A lot of people came up, but this one girl in particular by the name of Becky caught my attention. She was wearing a bright green shirt, she was exceptionally short, and she had hearing aids; I looked her in the eyes and said, “Jesus loves you and I love you, do not be afraid to show your wounds… tears streamed down her pretty little cheeks, (at this point, Galilee started to make sense)
When you get a glimpse of the e-mails I receive and what I hear on a daily basis, you will understand why I am so passionate and persistent about getting young people to open their hearts to God. Sometimes I get asked why do you care so much about the youth? It’s simple. When kids tell me about the dilemmas they face growing up in this chaotic society, how can one NOT get passionate about the youth. These kids face divorce, suicide, cutting, rape, anger, violence, prejudice, drugs, and depression.
I then looked into Becky’s eyes and asked what if Jesus was afraid to show His wounds? She dropped her head and gave me a hug and whispered, “He will carry me.”
I am not one to give advice on serious issues as mentioned above but I do believe that listening and emotionally connecting with these kids who are suffering are the way to help heal some of them. This is the greatest lesson that I have learned from Jesus. He had the right idea. Weep with those who are weeping and rejoice with those who are rejoicing. Every time I am part of a retreat, my heart is challenged by the stories that the young people share with me. I learned that the best way to help people is to reveal your weakness and your struggles to them.
Only Divine Providence would allow something like this to happen; the last time I shared my testimony was exactly a year ago at Kairos on a Saturday and St. John Vianney youth group, so happened to be on the Kairos retreat this past weekend as well.
So what was this Galilee? When did I first encounter Christ? When did I first encounter the love of God? I first encountered God through the eyes of the suffering, lonely and joyful. I found that Galilee through the many people who shared the love of Christ with me. I am confident that I wouldn’t be the young man I am today without the great people who have been such an important part of my life. I gladly say, in the most humble way I can, “I am Ryan Ayala, a servant of God. I believe I am only becoming this man because of all of those people who believed in me.” I have encountered many people in my life: family, friends, youth group, fellow seminarians, priests, strangers, and adults and whether they knew it or not- put their hearts into what matters most to me, Jesus Christ. They believed in me no matter what and they challenged me no what matter or who I thought I was and I thank God for them”
Becky came up to me after the talk and said, “Thank you”. Little did she know, Christ used her to show me the way to Galilee and it was through her that I received that confidence in the Risen Lord that no matter what happens in my life or what I go through…“He will carry me”.
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